March 2024…
Recently I passed a draft of a short story to a work colleague for feedback.
The story was originally written for the Sidney Hammond Short Story Competition, run by Hawkeye Books in Brisbane. I was quite pleased with what I had produced since I tried to follow the guidelines of the Hawkeye Books publication Winning Short Story Competitions. My piece was not long-listed, but I persisted in reaching out to Carolyn Martinez, publisher of Hawkeye Books, for feedback on my story.
She was not a judge for that year but spent an hour with me in a Zoom meeting reviewing my work. While she could see I had applied many of the techniques from her book, she pointed out that I needed more focus to hook the reader. During early January I reworked my story with this feedback in mind. I showed the latest version to my wife, Monique, who agreed that important improvements had been made and that the story was much stronger. There was a little niggle in my mind that Monique already knew the story well, having had many conversations about it and having edited earlier versions. I was concerned that she was reading as an informed reader – someone who already knew the outcome of the story and who may have the tendency to focus on punctuation and grammar rather than structure.
So, I gave the revised version to Chiara with no explanation about the theme introduction. I deliberately asked her to read it “cold”. I sent her several specific questions about the hook, characters and dialogue. Later, I chatted with her about her feedback. She mentioned, in passing, that she initially didn’t like the female character – the protagonist. Quizzing her about the comment revealed an important story feature that was emerging – the development of the character for the reader. Initially the character is experiencing great stress, arguing with a new partner, and revealing a terse, sarcastic side. As the story progresses the source of the stress is revealed. The character becomes softer to her partner and the reader starts to feel more empathy to the character and therefore to find her more likeable.
Identifying this arc was very illuminating and provided an opportunity to develop it further. My point is that I had not intentionally written that arc in the early drafts. A passing comment flicked the switch on a spotlight of understanding. It allowed me to see my character with greater clarity; giving me confidence to develop it further with a deeper understanding as to why readers connect with stories.
It can be daunting to ask for feedback on your precious work; a time of great vulnerability where the creative soul is laid bare. Asking feedback questions and having a mindset to continually learn about readers’ reactions, will always produce stronger unique work.